Friday, December 31, 2010


Over the course of a few months, I've prayed that the Lord will teach me humility. I've never really understood humility, especially when my size of Texas pride was hanging on my shoulders. I've prayed diligently, though, that the Lord would teach me. I wanted to be a humble woman.

I've never had bad skin for as long as I can remember. The occasional monthly breakout would loom its head sometimes, but for the most part I've had skin that was enviable my whole life. Last Summer I decided to try Proactiv just so I could zap those few breakouts I had.

For the better part of the year, I've been a Proactiv user and have loved the results; porcelain perfect skin. You could say my confidence shot up. (hello conceited)

The Lord apparently used my face to show me humility. I decided to get off of Proactiv because it was making my skin unbelievably dry in this dry, cold weather. When I did my face went a little crazy, so after a few days I continued to use Proactiv again. Apparently I'm allergic to benzoyl peroxide, and my face broke out in whelps. I thought I was just having a severe acne attack and it got worse as I continued my usual facial routine. Yesterday my roommate and I concluded that it was an allergic reaction. Google proved us correct.

I've cried, not wanted to go out in public and did not feel beautiful. It's been a real struggle for me even though it's a very minuscule bump in the road.

Wednesday a few of us girls had a very unexpected worship service in the middle of our living room. The Lord spoke to all three of us in unbelievable ways. Since then, the Lord has started to humble me.

"I'm who makes you beautiful."
"Charm is deceptive and beauty vain; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30
"Do not let your adorning be external-the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious."
1 Peter 3:4

The Lord spoke to me, "Grace. Live in grace, speak with grace, act with grace, walk in grace." My beauty or confidence should not lie in my outer appearance, but in the Lord alone. I want the Lord to outshine my physical appearance and be beautiful within me.

I'm humbled and learning not to boast in my appearance, but I'm still struggling.
I'm free from my pride.
The Lord will overcome,
and YOU are beautiful and lovely.

In Jesus name.

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